If I want to simply recognize the truth of being sat-cit-ananda, the changeless, without any projections - then I must examine the notions constituting 'who am I' - and see what is totally untrue, what is true with reference to the changing and what is true with reference to the changeless and recognize that the changeless is what is I that is ever-free.
So let us symbolize that each false notion is a brick which constitutes the wall of avaranam which is the ego. We want to knock down this avaranam wall which as though hides our truth, our freedom.
The rule we use to decide what is a false notion is 'whatever is objectifiable or objectified is not -I, because what is I is the one who objectifies who is different from what is objectified or known'.
Whatever is considered as 'mine' or 'my' is objectifiable - known, experienced and hence is not I. My house, my car, my dog, my friends, my job, my employer, my clothes, my family, …. All these are bricks that constitute the false wall of the ahankara… that hides my truth, my freedom. Knock them off with hammer of discrimination.
How to knock them off? By not giving all these undue importance… don't let them be such a huge reality to you that, the state of affairs with reference to any of these interfere with your peace of mind. With reference to each one of them, we need to have an attitude born of recognition, that they are all God-given …. Meaning they all part of the all intelligent order that pervades this jagat. Within that Order, I have power to change some things and I do what I can and I leave the rest to that very same Order. Within that Order, there are also certain things I cannot change … with reference to what I cannot change, my namah … my surrender to the Will of the Lord who pervades in the form all intelligent Order.
The feeling of helplessness, fear, anxiety, tension, stress, anger, hurt arise when these things that I consider as 'mine' become more real to me than the God who pervades all of them … in the form of the all-intelligent Order. The attitude to these things that I consider as 'mine' … is 'this is how they are…. I do what I can…. And I leave the rest to God in acceptance'. This attitude is surrender.
Shiva Shambho Shiva Shambho Shiva Shambho Shiva Shambho Shiva Shambho Shiva Shambho Shiva Shankara
Now let's come home. What are the immediate notions that constitute the wall of ahankara. They are the 'I am this or that' notions, and 'I have this or that' notions. Each of these notions is objectifiable or knowable or known … so they cannot be I who is one who knows these thoughts … different from these.
'I am the body' ( and the conditions of the body…. Like pain, disease, health)
' I am the prana' ( physiological functions like respiration, circulation,
'I am feelings' (anger, hurt, guilt, fear, anxious, helpless, isolated, needy, love, compassion, pride, likes, dislikes, prestige, needy child…. Etc.)
'I am decision, thoughts, ignorance...'
'I have brains, feelings, memories, ignorance' etc.
Knock of each of these notions of being "I". How? Spend time on each of these … understand well, intimately, how they cannot be the 'I' in whose presence these are known or knowable. Contemplate on
- How each of these have no independent presence … they can exist and do exist only because of the presence of the changeless light of consciousness who is their very truth - even as water is the truth of the wave
- How each of these is changing all the time … and these changes are possible and ever revealed only in the presence of the ever-present changeless light of consciousness that is satyam.
Contemplate on how the body is changing all the time … it is dying and being reborn all the time … there is constant change in the body governed by the all intelligent Order … and these changes are illumined in the presence of the changeless light of consciousness that is verily the truth of I. The body itself is possible only because of the presence of that unchanging light of consciousness… God.
What about prana? All-pervading Prana is changing all the time. Changes in the prana are being revealed in ever-present changless formless light of consciousness that is the truth of 'I'. The changes in the prana are also governed by the all Intelligent Order. As an individual, I can learn to tap that Order and gain control over prana … yet the changes in prana are possible only because of the that ever present Light of Consciousness.
We all have deep-rooted feelings of 'I am helpless', I am frightened, I am anxious, I am hurt, I am guilty, I am alone. For many of us these are deep samskaras that constitute one's core sense of identity.
Shiva Shambho Shiva Shambho Shiva Shambho Shiva Shambho Shiva Shambho Shiva Shambho Shiva Shankara
We need to see the truth here … these feelings arose in the past … in childhood, when I took myself to be the body only. When the body is in danger, and there is deep identification of taking oneself to be the body only, there will be fear, there will be anxiety, there will be the feeling of helplessness and hurt. It is natural.
Yet there is no rule, that it is the truth of oneself. Changes to the body, changes in the body, factors affecting the body-mind-sense complex …. Are possible because of the presence of the changless light of consciousness… and they are revealed only because of the presence of a changeless truth … sat-cit-ananda …. The light of consciousness.
Without the presence of the changeless light of consciousness, none of the changes affecting the body-mind-sense complex would be revealed or even possible. The ever- presence of the changeless light of consciousness is the only truth about oneself that does not change - ever. This is the truth of 'I' … the Great Secret … one must be alive to this fact … by knocking off the notions that one is the body-mind-sense complex.
Not knowing that this Changeless God, the light of Consciousness exists as the ever-presence in whose changeless presence alone, the existence of the body-mind-sense complex is possible, and in whose presence alone the existence of the body-mind-sense complex is illumined, who is the very truth of myself, I take the body-mind-sense complex to be the truth …. And then suffer when there are unpleasant changes affecting the body-mind-sense complex.
Then there is helplessness, anxiety, fear, hurt, anger, isolation. Let us knock of these false notions. I am that changeless light of consciousness in whose ever-presence, this body exists as non-separate …. I am free of the body …. Whereas body is not independent of Me. All that is objectified is non-separate from sat … the ever-presence that is I. 'I am sat-cit-ananda' is knowledge… not 'I am helpless'. 'I am helpless' is a false notion revealed in the presence of I, sat-cit-ananda.
If the thought that "I am body" is too real for me, then 'I am helpless' feeling will also be too real for me… then let there be the sadhana of recognizing that the ever-present Light of consciousness in the form of Omniscient, Omnipotent, Omnipresent Lord is ever with me … as my suhrd, as Divine Father, Divine Mother …. As the one in whose presence I surrender in acceptance of the unpleasant changes that affect this body-mind-sense complex that I consider as 'I'. We cannot by-pass that surrender to that All Intelligent Order and recognize our freedom. Let us be ready to surrender … let there be non-resistence to that Order.
This is where upasana has so much meaning. Upasana … meditate on that ever-present changeless Light of Consciousness in the form of Ishta devata in the heart … as Divine Father and Mother who is Suhrd and Divine Protector … who is in the form of the Divine, All Intelligent Order … and slowly allow oneself to let go of one's resistance and accept what is unpleasant and one cannot change as the Divine Will. In that acceptance … there is freedom … freedom to recognize that truth about oneself that is never affected by change.
This changeless Truth exists … it is the only Truth that is ever-present and ever-free … it our birth-right to recognize this truth … let recognize this Truth and Be free.
Om Tat Sat