The me I don't want face is the unacceptable me who manifests as
• The hurt me
• The I am-not-ok me
• The guilty/ ashamed me
• The insecure me
• The addictive/ attached me
• The fearing, worrying, anxious me
• The restless me
• The jealous me
• The greedy me
• The helpless me
• The lonely me
• The selfish me
• The mean me
• The cruel me
•. The always-wanting-to-please- others me
• The not-good-enough me ....etc
All these belong to ahankara....often hidden from conscious view as it is painful to face the me identified with any of these feelings.
As one becomes more and more familiar with ones patterns of feeling and behaving over the course of time, one becomes aware of this dark side of one's personality.
Why are there? Most importantly because of ignorance of one's true nature of being self-evident non-conceptual conscious being who is everfree of body-mind complex. And of course because of one's unique experiences which have led to the formation of one's sense of identity.
Knowledge of the truth of oneself gives one the inner strength to compasssionately face the dark side, forgive oneself for it, accept one's personality as it is knowing it to be human, knowing it also to be not the ultimate reality about oneself. It's like the moon has a dark side and I accept the moon with it's bright and dark side. And this self-acceptance allows one to let go and transform if one wants. .
It is usually very difficult to approach the dark side of one's personality directly. I would choose to address it as and when it shows up in the form of some behaviour I can recognize as coming from the dark side.
Whenever the dark side comes up some basic attitudes I adopt toward it are:-
1. A willingness to understand
2. Deep loving-kindness towards this part of the psyche ....
3. Staying with it with deep breathing with attention in the heart centre and my mantra and allowing myself to feel the pain without trying to fix it ...allowing it to dissipate on it's own which confirms my understanding that the entire thought-feeling-world simply arises and resolves in the non-conceptual consciousness that in reality I am. The bright side or the dark side of the psyche is illumined in my presence and even as the sunlight is unaffected by what is illumined in it's presence ...so too the light of consciousness, the self, is untainted by anything illumined in it's presence.
4. Being open to the insights that come as a part of this process .... Usually the false beliefs and beliefs that are no longer relevant or useful will also come to light. When they do, I use wisdom to see them as false, irrelevant, useless and I let go clinging to them, I let go allowing them to rule ....which means I do not act upon them anymore ...that's transformation.
Om Tat Sat