Are you Consciousness or are you your self-image?

Every committed seeker of self-knowledge will knock into this question with themselves - who am I? 

Am I my self-image? Am I my historical psychological self? 

If I am my historical psychological self, if I am my self-image then indeed sorrow is my lot, because I can never be pleased with myself - I will remain an eternal seeker, constantly stuck in life of becoming something other than what I am, simply because I am displeased with myself. 

Its good to ask this question to oneself - am I my self-image?

What is one's self-image? It is nothing but a bunch of ideas, a bunch of thoughts and some memories to which one gives life by owning up as one's self.

What are thoughts? They are movements in the mind-stuff - which can be perceived and indeed are perceived.

How can I be what I perceive - after all I am the perceiver, the observor, the subject who knows those thoughts, feelings, emotions ... all of the mind-stuff.

How did I mix up the subject with the object and the object with the subject? It's all one big confusion. How can I be both the perceiver and the perceived? 

How come I am giving life to these thoughts,concepts, memories that constitute my self-image and owning them up as my self?

Every committed seeker of self-knowledge must have this much clarity at the least - that I am not my self-image - whatever that self-image may be. Since I am not my self-image, I do not have to put energy into improving it nor do I need to be driven by it.

Instead it is important to shift gear - to put one's energy into discovering what is the nature of the perceiver?

The perceiver's truth is formless independent Consciousness, the impartial witness with reference to all of the mind-stuff - the ego, the thoughts, the feelings, emotions, attitudes, values, decisions, memories etc. 

In Consciousness there is no self-image - there is no self-identity. Consciousness is independent, formless and changeless - there can be no self-identity for consciousness. Consciousness is the underlying truth of the whole universe, absolutely free of the universe, even though the universe and everything in it is a seeming manifestation of itself. 

When there is ignorance of the supremely free nature of Consciousness that shines here as self-evident 'I', a personality is formed consisting of a self-image in keeping with Isvara's psychological laws - a limited bound  personality, who one identifies with and gives life to as 'I'. This self-image keeps one hostage because it is limited and bound - in its limitation it is demanding - it demands a great price - your freedom.

The self-image must be recognized as FALSE. How to recognize it as false?

See the truth of the perceiver being independent, changeless, ever-present. 

How can change be perceived without the presence of something that is changeless? Trust in the Guru's words, trust in the Scriptures words which say that the truth of the perceiver is  changeless independent formless and permanent. When you trust, you are not scared - and you will ready to disown, and let go of all that your believed to be true as your self. You will sincerely negate whatever is perceived as in the category of 'not-I'. That includes the self-image.

Now you are left with simply self-evident 'I' - and you cannot negate that I is consciousness - even if you want to.

It is about this self-evident 'I' who is never an object, who is ever the independent impartial witness, that Shastra reveals - is independent, changeless, formless, free of time, free of space, free of object, non-dually one, who in its own glory appears as all that is changing, dependent, temporary.

The limited self-image is ever dependent on you Consciousness to give it life. Once you discover your truth, at the very same moment you discover that the self-image is FALSE and even by habit if it makes a come back, you are able to stop giving it further life. 

Om Tat Sat

‘I am lonely’ – is a false samskara

A student comes up to me and says ‘Swaminiji, even after listening to Vedanta I still feel I am very lonely. My loneliness drives me to seek friends and I sometimes end up making wrong choices of friends – sometimes toxic and harmful. I am not able to draw boundaries. I become dependent on these friends for their appreciation and approval and am not able to extricate myself from these relationships even after experiencing much emotional abuse”.

To a person who is not committed to Self-enquiry, I might say go to a counsellor – the counsellor will help you to see through this, so you can make better choices next time.

However, when this pattern of behaviour becomes evident to a committed student of self-inquiry, we have to use our  recognition of the truth that Vedanta reveals to first examine if our conclusion on which this feeling is based is right and then examine if we want to continue to give life to a belief that is false.

Our knowledge of Vedanta and recognition of its truth can help us to see the fact, that this feeling of loneliness is born of false conclusion. A feeling based on a false conclusion can keep you imprisoned in it, all because you, the consciousness have given it life by believing in it. A false belief must be seen as false and let go of. One’s commitment to truth demands that one give it up – in fact the more you see it as false the more easy it is to give it up.

So what is the false belief behind the feeling of loneliness?

One is that ‘I am this body-mind which is separate from all others and the world around’.

Well everybody has this conclusion so everyone must be lonely then. That is fairly true – everybody has this false conclusion, except wise people who see the truth. However for some people the feelings based on this conclusion are very heavy, because they might not have received enough support and care when they were children, so the feelings of loneliness became hardened as the conclusion that ‘I am lonely, I am all alone, I am unsupported.” Some may even conclude that “I cannot manage on my own.”

So first step is to show the person that at the level of their body and mind, in fact they are NOT separate from the world or others.  This body has a symbiotic relationship with the world. For example the body breathes in oxygen given out by the trees and gives out carbon-dioxide which is used by the trees. Again one’s body is a put together of flesh, bones, blood, fat, muscle etc... so is the body of others made of the same constituents. If you truly analyse the body you find that it is made of particles of energy – in fact the whole world is nothing but particles of energy. So the basic constituents of the body, whatever model you take, is the same as the constituents of any other body. How is this body really separate from the body of the world? In fact this body is a part of the world.

No, at the mind level, I feel lonely, I feel misunderstood, un-understood, unsupported and alone!!

Did you feel lonely as a child? Yes... very lonely.

Yes, this feeling of loneliness is an old, old impression which is left in the sub-conscious mind and it is holding you hostage because you believe in it. Once you believe in it, the sub-conscious mind is very powerful ... it will create situations for you which you will again interpret in the same way and strengthen your belief.

Is it really true that nobody understands you or is this a belief you picked up[ in childhood?

Do you understand yourself?

What is your relationship with the Lord? The Lord is ever the impartial and all-accepting  (loving) witness to your every thought, emotion, feeling, decision, action. Have you given attention to understanding and recognizing the presence of the Lord in your life? How can you be lonely if you recognize the presence of the Lord in your life? The Lord understands you even if you imagine that nobody else does.

The feelings of deep loneliness brings to light that there is a conclusion of separation from the world and the Lord and it is time to pay attention to this and be free of this debilitating  conclusion.

Do you want to be free? How deeply have you invested in this conclusion of separation?

Finally the master-stroke to free yourself.

Have you observed this feeling of loneliness?

Yes.

Observing the feeling, you are not the feeling ... you are indeed distinct from the feeling as the one who perceives the feelings.

You are consciousness, awareness and in your light of awareness, these feelings are revealed. Are you consciousness or are you loneliness? You can’t be both.

Are you clear about this? One is the perceiver and the other the perceived. How come you have mixed it all up?

You are consciousness, satyam, independent and changeless. You illumine and enliven every thought, decision, feeling, sensation, activity, the body and the world . You give life to them. None of these can be separate from you, the one who gives life to them, and yet who is independent of them.

Why are you giving life to a false belief? You are consciousness, you are not loneliness. Loneliness is only an old old samskara based upon a false conclusion. The knowledge of your truth has the power to destroy the false conclusion and in its wake you stop giving reality to your old old samskara. 

Can you see this? If you can’t see it immediately, trust in this ancient knowledge and give attention to finding out the truth.

If you can ... STOP giving reality to the old conclusion of separation and the feelings of loneliness. Stay as consciousness, whole, undivided and complete. Live from this truth. Refuse to subscribe to your false conclusions and samskaras.

Om Tat Sat

The Tradition of Advaita Teaches

The tradition of Advaita teaches  .... it does not preach. It teaches you the truth of who you are, using a sophisticated and simple methodology of teaching.

I am ....not whatever I perceive, or can perceive at anytime.

That means I am not the world around me(obvious).

I am not the roles I play in interaction with the world. Not sanyasi, not disciple, not daughter, not teacher, not friend, not sister, not employer, not citizen of the country or the world.

I am not the  body-mind, nor the energy that pervades the body-mind. I not the perceptions, the sensations, the activities that take place in the body-mind or via the body-mind.

I am not the doer, nor am I the experiencer. I am not the waker, the dreamer, or the one in deep-sleep.

After negating all of whatever I take as myself, I am simply left with I AM.

This ‘I am’ is self-evident, self-revealing conscious Being, free of all form, free of all attributes – a non-person!! We can’t negate it!!

The ‘I am’ is the Conscious (cit)Being (sat) in whose changeless (that which can never be destroyed or modified)  limitless (ananda) ever-presence (timeless), the body-mind, all processes of the body-mind, all perceptions, thoughts, feelings, memories, ignorance and the Universe is revealed, enlivened.... blessed, without whose presence  and being nothing whatsoever exists. Indeed all this is just an appearance that comes to go in the consciousness that I am .... ever non-seperate from me.... ever an appearance of my Self alone

Am I able to confirm this for myself or am I loyal to my identity as a person?

If I am not able to confirm this truth for myself, as even Arjuna was not able to, on hearing Lord Krishna in Chapter 2 of the Gita – then Vedanta points out that one is not ready yet to confirm – and so one must first prepare oneself.

What is the preparation?

Firstly understanding that the cause of all this  (whatever can be objectified, whatever can be perceived, which includes world, and this body-mind complex) is one changeless consciousness alone who through its own glorious shakti manifests  as all this. You can call this Consciousness in its status as cause of all this, as the Lord, Ishvara. This whole universe which includes this body-mind is non-seperate from the Lord. The Lord is the one who is present in the Universe as the Order – the law of cause and effect that governs everything that is here.... you may call it the Divine Order, the Maha Order... which renders everything here as what it is. The Lord is therefore also called the one who ordains the result of all our actions. This understanding of the Lord is vital for relating to Lord and settling one’s emotional accounts and growing into relative contentment and peace.

Therefore when one is identified with the body-mind as ‘I’,, then I relate to this Consciousness, this Lord, who verily shines in one’s heart as ‘I’ through worshipful surrender. One’s awareness of the Lord as being present through warp and woof of the Universe is the surrender – in that understanding there is awareness of one’s every thought, feeling, sensation, action being imbued with the presence of the Lord.  One’s attitude is one of reverence and surrender. One understands the Lord to be the nitya sakshi,  the one who is ever the changeless impartial witness to one’s every action, sensation, thought, feeling, memory. One understands that one cannot be away from the Lord even if one wants to. One may relate to the Lord then as Father /Mother / Husband/Wife etc – ever one’s Divine Companion in whose benign ever-presence and Order one’s life activities takes place. Increasingly relating to the Lord thus, one begins to see the body-mind as an instrument to be used for contribution to the world in whatever capacity one can, as an offering of gratitude to the Lord because of whom the contribution is possible. Also one is able to accept the ups and downs of life, the pleasant and the unpleasant, the sorrow and the joy, as coming from the Divine Order and so it is what it is meant to be – and one’s dependence of the world to be as one wants it to be reduces. The likes and dislikes are neutralised and one finds oneself relatively content and peaceful.

Self-knowledge takes places effortlessly for the person who relates to the Omniscient, Omnipresent Lord as a devotee who has neutralised his or her sense of individuality to great extent through relating to the Lord as the cause of this universe.

My Guru Pujya Swami Dayanandaji always said, you can’t bypass emotional maturity and gain self-knowledge. Traditional Vedanta understands the problem of loyalty to one’s identity and with great compassion prescribes a life of relating to the Lord to lighten one’s sense of individuality. When one is ready and one is exposed to good teaching, knowledge (recognition of one’s truth) takes place.

Om Tat Sat

You cannot bypass emotional maturity and gain self-knowledge that stays and blesses

One can say my desire to be free is stronger than my attachment to my personal identity, so show me I am free.

Is the desire to be free  enough of a qualification to gain self-knowledge that stays and blesses?

No ... the desire to be free must be there along with a certain degree of emotional maturity. You simply can’t bypass emotional maturity and gain self-knowledge. Without the requisite emotional maturity you may at the most gain insight into the nature of the self, but that insight will not develop into a lasting knowledge that does away with one’s belief in one’s identity as an individual separate from everything – that insight will not stay to bless with freedom.

Emotional maturity has its own timing. It does not come one day too soon!! You can't hurry it. You can't be brutal as a teacher, and try to force a person into seeing their freedom.  Emotional maturity comes with living one’s life with a certain understanding and attitudes born of that vision.

A study of  traditional Vedanta can equip you with that vision. To say that you don’t need to study is not true. Study of traditional Vedanta under a master who has discovered freedom, who is competent and responsible  in teaching can confer on you the freedom you seek – first you gain  the understanding that fructifies into certain attitudes that you begin to live your life with – and that brings in its wake maturity and with maturity you are ready for self discovery – a discovery that will fulfil every aspiration you ever had.

Om Tat Sat

How attached are we to our identity as an individual?

A student comes to me and says “I am hurt... I was hurt in childhood, I am hurting now, I have to heal”.

It is important to be able to discriminate and see if ‘I’ can get hurt, and if “I” ever needs healing.

To be able to discriminate let’s ask the question “Do you see that there is hurt? Is the hurt an object of your knowledge”.

“Yes”

“Then it must be different from you. After all whatever you experience, what you know is indeed distinct from you ... being an object of your knowledge – and you are the subject, the one who knows it, watches it, observes it”.

What is hurt? It is a feeling ... a mind modification, a thought modification which you can observe. Why does it occur? Is it important to know or is it important to understand what is this “I”, does it ever get hurt? We can use many different ways of understanding hurt, maybe karma, maybe psychology.... but should we really expend our energy in understanding the processes behind hurt or could we first try to understand the nature of “I” ... is it really subject to hurt and guilt?

Because you identify with the hurt as yourself  and put it in the same locus as your ‘I’, you confuse yourself by saying “I am hurt” .... or even “I am guilty” for that matter.

If you can discover that what shines here as “I” is self-existent, independent, self-revealing  consciousness, in whose mere presence the mind and its processes are illumined, in whose presence the body is enlivened, and from whom the body-and mind do not enjoy an independent existence, you will find you have been free all along

How strong is your desire to be free? Is your desire strong enough to break through your attachment to your identity as an individual?

Yes it is?

Then study Vedanta – the knowledge of the free self.

Om Tat Sat

SWAMI TARANANDA BY SHRI UDAY ACHARYA

Most Precious Seva For Pujya Swamiji