Om Namah Shivaya chanting
In the Kaivalya Upanishad, while describing the preparation
for meditation it says अत्याश्रमस्थः the meditator should be अत्याश्रमस्थः - become अत्यश्रमी
the one who transcends all Ashramas, who
transcends all the stages of life, meaning that one who meditates gives up
identification with all stages of life. I am not a brahmachari or brahmacharini.
Brahmacharya is a stage of life… I usually think of myself as a brahmachari or
a brahmacharini …. Garhastya or householder is a stage of life. I think of
myself as a Grhasta- householder. Or I may have passed on to the next stage a
vanaprastha – I am retired, a vanaprastha. Or I may have moved to the next
stage of life – I am a sanyasi.
These identifications are quite alright for performing my vyavahara,
for conducting myself in the life . With every state of life is
associated a kartavya or the duty of
what I should do and what I should not be. Vidhi and nisheda.
All of this goes into my notion or conclusion about myself.
That I am a sadhaka, I am a seeker. I am a mumukshu, I am a seeker of moksha.
Whatever idea, a notion or conclusion I have, about myself also carries with it the duties, the kartavya,
the do's and don'ts, what I should do and what I should not do.
atyāśramasthaḥ - right now I do not belong to any stage
of life. I am not a brahmachari or brahmacharini. I am not a grahasta, or a
vanaprastha, nor even a sanyasi. I dropped all these identifications. I'm not
accountable to anybody, meaning I do not have to fulfill anybody's demands on
me….. and nobody is accountable to me meaning nobody has any duties towards me,
because I make no demands upon anyone.
That someone should do this for me. Someone should behave in
a given manner. Someone should not behave in a given manner. I let go all the
demands and expectations from others as to what anyone else should be.
Let the people out there remain out there. A person who is
out there comes in because of demands, expectations. I accept everyone as they
all.
स्पर्शान्कृत्वा बहिर्बाह्यांन् – Let the people out there remain out there. A person who is out there comes in (my mind) because of demands, expecatations. I let go all demands, all expectations of other persons. Other objects come in my mind because I want to possess them or I want to get rid of them. Nothing to possess, nothing to get rid of.
I just remain a simple person, non-demanding. One gives up all demands, all expectations from others and one gives up all demands
unexpected from the self.
By accepting others, I'm not obliging them. I'm just
releasing myself from the tension or anxiety that is created by expectation. I
gracefully accept the world as it is, as Ishvara’s creation. I make no demand on anyone because
of the appreciation that everything is in order. Everything doesn't have to
fulfill my expectation – what Is is because
of expectation of Ishvara and I let go my expectations. I let go my demands, in
the graceful acceptance of what is, what people are, what things are, what circumstances
are, what the world is. That makes me free.
By letting go the demands, by the graceful acceptance of
what is, I become free from all anxieties, from all fears, from all uncertainties.
I discover that I am free, It is I who imposed upon myself these demands and expectations and I bound myself. I have the freedom to give up all demands, all expectations and thus I become free.
I similarly give up
expectations and demands of myself. Just as I lovingly accept the world as it
is, I also gracefully accept myself as I am meaning that I gracefully accept
all my limitations. Just as I gracefully accept the limitations of others and
respect them, and love them regardless
so also I gracefully accept my limitations of the body, of the mind, of the
intellect. It is my inability to accept my limitations. Just as I make demands
on others as to what they should be I make demand on myself as to how I should
be.
I approve of myself. I let go my expectations of myself. I
gracefully accept all my limitations including my ragas and dveshas. I gracefully
accept my all virtues and vices. Just as the world is in order as it
is, I am also in order as I am. Because all virtues and vices reside in my
upadhi. The strengths and weaknesses reside in the body, in the mind, in the
intellect. I gracefully accept this upadhi, this personality of the mind,
sense-organs, body.
I am comfortable with the world. I am comfortable with
myself. It is expectation, demand that creates discomfort. Creates tensions,
creates fears. I let go all expectations from others, and from myself by gracefully accepting everything
as Ishvara’s order.
माहं
ब्रह्म निराकुर्याम् । May I not discard Brahman,
because whatever is here is all Ishvara. May I not disrespect Ishvara. May I
gracefully accept Ishvara, worship Ishvara, love Ishvara. Give Ishvara the
freedom to be what He is. Ishvara is in the form of what is out there, and what
is in here. Everything is Ishvara. May I not discard, reject, disrespect
Ishvara.
May
Ishvara not discard me. May I love Ishvara. May Ishvara love me. May I love
Ishvara as what is out there and what is in here.
All limitations all virtue, all vices …. Its all Ishvara.
The guna – virtues and dosha-vices….. that is the costume of Ishvara. Ishvara in fact is present
here in this costume also. I appreciate the costume as a costume and not get
stuck with why the costume is in certain way. Afterall it’s a costume …. Name and
form is costume. My name and form is also a costume. I am the one who possesses
the costume. The costumes are different. All distinctions belong to the costume.
Male and female. Young and not so good. Bright and not so bright - all of these distinctions belong to the
costume. I appreciate the costume as the costume. A loving acceptance of what IS, that is a loving acceptance of Ishvara.
In that acceptance, I am free. It is the demand and expectations that bind
me. I am free from demands and
expectations because I gracefully accept everything as it is. In fact I
appreciate the glory of what is … and in that appreciation I am free.
I do not need to do anything to be free. I need this frame
of mind to see that I am free. A frame of mind that is free from all expectations
and demand. A frame of mind that is free from all needs and wants. A frame of
mind that is comfortable with what is. A mind that gracefully accepts what is, what I am.
In this moment I see that I'm alright.
I am alright.
Various demands and expectations arose because I believed
that I'm not alright. When I see I am
alright, then there's no room for demands and expectations and I am free.
न मे द्वेषरागौ न
मे लोभमोहौ
मदो
नैव मे नैव मात्सर्यभावः
।
Na me
devsha ragau – aversion and attachment are not mine, na me lobha-mohau –
greed and delusion are not mine, madaH
naiva me naiva maatsarya bhavaH - the pride and jealousy are also not mine.
Wherever they are are, they are not in me and so I have nothing to accomplish.
न धर्मो न चार्थो न
कामो न मोक्षः
There is no purusharthas,
there is no end to be achieved, because what Is, Is complete. There is no
dharma, or kaama or moksha in me.
चिदानन्दरूपः
शिवोऽहम्
शिवोऽहम्
…. चिदानन्दरूपः शिवोऽहम् शिवोऽहम् ….
शिवोऽहम् शिवोऽहम्
Om purnamadaH….
Om Shantih
shantiH shantiH…..
