Friday, August 12, 2011

Ahamgraha Upasana

I find that one of the problems as a sadhaka is strong dehatma-buddhi – ie taking the self to be THIS body-mind-sense complex. All our emotional issues really come from dehatma-buddhi.
In ahamgraha upasana – one sees oneself as the samshthi sukhsma sharira. Usually by habit, the identification is with only one sukshma sharira – when ahamgraha upasana is done of the nature that I am Hiranyagarbha the consciousness identified with the samasthi sukshma sharira, the strong dehatma buddhi with this body-mind-sense complex reduces.
It is not possible to do this upasana in my opinion, unless one totally lets go the dividing ego that makes one so small. The only way to let go is acknowledge that " I" has no being other than Ishwara, as Ishwara is the nimitta-upadana kaarana – at body level, prana level, emotions level, thoughts level, ego level – I have no being other than Ishwara – even my apurnatvam sense is ruled by Ishwara's Order! The dividing ego, the fearing ego, collapses and all that is there is Ishwara.
Now as Ishwara ( panktam upasana of Taittiriya Upanishad), I am identified with the vyashthi sukshma sharira of all beings – at level of prana, indiriyas, physical body, mind ( all possible beings you can think of from amoeba to dinosaurus and even other beings in other planets, lokas) – and at the level of samshthi with prithivi, antariksham, heavens, directions, intermediary directions – the devatas – agni,vayu, aditya, chandrama, nakshtraani, - the bhutas as aapa, aushadhayah, vanaspatayah, space, all other bhutas ( left out) ie Virat. This I am Hiranyarabha – samsthi sukhsma sharira avachinna chaitanyam iti is the upasana.
This kind of Hiranyagarbha Ahamgraha Upasana is a must I feel because basic emotional resolution can take place – because there is no way of doing this upsana without letting go the dividing small apurna ego – and there is no way of letting it go without merging in Ishwara as it were by seeing the fact that the individuality which is taken as "I" cannot stay separate from Ishwara – I belong to Ishwara all the way. It is very enjoyable also. Also the sense of 'me ' and 'mine' and the sense of isolation, the need to belong etc. reduces and one's threshold for accepting situations and people as they are increases.
Then one can spend time in nidhidhyasana enjoying oneself as unconditional limitless presence that is satyam – and again allow the mind to expand into seeing that whatever is objectified externally or internally is myself alone / Ishwara alone.
Om Tat Sat